Emotions - what to do?

Why do we go through so much emotions trying to find love in this world? Is it really worth going through emotional rollercoasters just to find out the person you've been with and wanted so much to be the 'right' man in your life, isn't really the one??

After my relationship ended in 2006, I decided to stop dating for awhile. One betrayal after another, it was enough for me to stop it all. I needed a break to figure things out and concentrate only on myself.

A year later, to my surprise, I actually wanted to start dating again. One night, I met a man who's 6'3", dark and was the finest man I've seen in a long time. But I was too intimidated to strike up a conversation...figured he was taken and if he wasn't, why would he be interested in me? Somehow we ended up talking to each other and he actually asked me to get together sometime. I was so excited because I could feel that there was something very different about him.

One thing led to another, and we've been dating for the past 8 months. The more I got to know him, the more I realized how intelligent and different he was. He has almost all the qualities I wanted in a man....with one exception, he's so hard to get through. After his last relationship and previous personal situations, he's built a huge wall up protecting his heart and has been quite negative about getting 'in too deep' in reationships. I know, some people would this this was BS. But if you know him, you'd know that it's not.

Lately, I feel things between us hasn't been right....we're not connecting like we used to. He not as affectionate and has been distant.

Once again, I'm going through emotions because I thought, finally, here's someone that I could potentially see myself with for a very long time. I never thought I would find a man like him in my life. But things between us hasn't been right.

Lately, bad thoughts and dreams about him and his ex has been replaying in my head (she's been wanting to get back with him and I know she's had a huge impact in his life a year ago). I can't tell if it's my gut giving me these feelings about him, or it's my insecurities taking over.

What do I do?

What is Love?

"When you truly care and love someone, you'd have their best interest at heart and ensure that they know through the ups and the downs, you will always be there, no matter how difficult the situation he or she may be going through. You'd respect their thoughts, opinions, feelings - everything, because you love them, and for some, you'd love them more than yourself.

What I don't understand is, how could a person still say they care and love you, after the lies & deceptions they have put you through? Especially when they've expressed to you they loved you with their heart and soul? Did they really love you to that level....or even loved you at all? I used to think so, but now I don't know what was real....

When someone has been in your life for awhile, especially when you've given all of you (mind, body and soul) because you believed in them and in your relationship.... can that love be ignored and think that it was never really there? Or was it only a figment of your imagination?

Back then, love to me was unconditional; willing to give your entire being; love is an appreciation of that sacrifice, a promise not to misuse it and a willingness to return it.
Now, I'm also wondering if it's just a state of mind....and since most minds are either in a state of confusion or state of denial...."

I wrote this a couple years ago, right after I had gotten out of an intense relationship. Everything I thought I knew at the time, had fallen apart. I was devastated because for the first time in my life, I had made future plans with someone I had cared about deeply.

I would love to hear your thoughts on what love is to you.

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