Welcome. This is a place for me to express my thoughts on anything and everything (from fashion to travel), and to share the experiences that I've come across throughout my journey of life. This is basically a place for all of us to unwind and let loose. I would love to hear your stories, so please feel free to comment on all my postings. Now grab a cup of coffee, sit down, relax and enjoy!


Thursday, October 11, 2007

Emotions - what to do?

Why do we go through so much emotions trying to find love in this world? Is it really worth going through emotional rollercoasters just to find out the person you've been with and wanted so much to be the 'right' man in your life, isn't really the one??

After my relationship ended in 2006, I decided to stop dating for awhile. One betrayal after another, it was enough for me to stop it all. I needed a break to figure things out and concentrate only on myself.

A year later, to my surprise, I actually wanted to start dating again. One night, I met a man who's 6'3", dark and was the finest man I've seen in a long time. But I was too intimidated to strike up a conversation...figured he was taken and if he wasn't, why would he be interested in me? Somehow we ended up talking to each other and he actually asked me to get together sometime. I was so excited because I could feel that there was something very different about him.

One thing led to another, and we've been dating for the past 8 months. The more I got to know him, the more I realized how intelligent and different he was. He has almost all the qualities I wanted in a man....with one exception, he's so hard to get through. After his last relationship and previous personal situations, he's built a huge wall up protecting his heart and has been quite negative about getting 'in too deep' in reationships. I know, some people would this this was BS. But if you know him, you'd know that it's not.

Lately, I feel things between us hasn't been right....we're not connecting like we used to. He not as affectionate and has been distant.

Once again, I'm going through emotions because I thought, finally, here's someone that I could potentially see myself with for a very long time. I never thought I would find a man like him in my life. But things between us hasn't been right.

Lately, bad thoughts and dreams about him and his ex has been replaying in my head (she's been wanting to get back with him and I know she's had a huge impact in his life a year ago). I can't tell if it's my gut giving me these feelings about him, or it's my insecurities taking over.

What do I do?