Welcome. This is a place for me to express my thoughts on anything and everything (from fashion to travel), and to share the experiences that I've come across throughout my journey of life. This is basically a place for all of us to unwind and let loose. I would love to hear your stories, so please feel free to comment on all my postings. Now grab a cup of coffee, sit down, relax and enjoy!


Thursday, October 11, 2007

Emotions - what to do?

Why do we go through so much emotions trying to find love in this world? Is it really worth going through emotional rollercoasters just to find out the person you've been with and wanted so much to be the 'right' man in your life, isn't really the one??

After my relationship ended in 2006, I decided to stop dating for awhile. One betrayal after another, it was enough for me to stop it all. I needed a break to figure things out and concentrate only on myself.

A year later, to my surprise, I actually wanted to start dating again. One night, I met a man who's 6'3", dark and was the finest man I've seen in a long time. But I was too intimidated to strike up a conversation...figured he was taken and if he wasn't, why would he be interested in me? Somehow we ended up talking to each other and he actually asked me to get together sometime. I was so excited because I could feel that there was something very different about him.

One thing led to another, and we've been dating for the past 8 months. The more I got to know him, the more I realized how intelligent and different he was. He has almost all the qualities I wanted in a man....with one exception, he's so hard to get through. After his last relationship and previous personal situations, he's built a huge wall up protecting his heart and has been quite negative about getting 'in too deep' in reationships. I know, some people would this this was BS. But if you know him, you'd know that it's not.

Lately, I feel things between us hasn't been right....we're not connecting like we used to. He not as affectionate and has been distant.

Once again, I'm going through emotions because I thought, finally, here's someone that I could potentially see myself with for a very long time. I never thought I would find a man like him in my life. But things between us hasn't been right.

Lately, bad thoughts and dreams about him and his ex has been replaying in my head (she's been wanting to get back with him and I know she's had a huge impact in his life a year ago). I can't tell if it's my gut giving me these feelings about him, or it's my insecurities taking over.

What do I do?


Liss said...

Love your site btw. I feel your pain. Sounds like you are serious about him. If you are sick and tired of feeling insecure, worried, unloved, I would talk to him. Communicate with him in an honest, serious and open-minded way. Ask him what are his intentions for you. Tell him the changes you have noticed lately. Let him know you are not blaming him, but wants to know what is going on so you can go forward in your life, whatever it is. That's my 2cents ;) You deserve to be loved whole-heartedly and never settle for less.

Morthax said...

Yeah, what liss said. Just try not to come off as overly needy. Most guys hate talking about the relationship. We'd rather assume it's going well or else try to fix it on our own than talk about it.

Nice site, too.

Irving Washington said...

Yeah, what Liss said (and again, nice site). I've been like that in relationships before [and without sounding overly worrying for you!] it was because I'd moved on a little and wasn't so wrapped as before.

You've obviously had some bad luck in the past; but you need to get whatever's going on out in the open.

Hopefully, it's nothing to worry about and could well be something totally unrelated - but you need to find out so that if something is going on you can fix it before it's too late.

All the best, IW

Freeto_Neols said...

Sometimes it does hurt when you're trying to cope up with something, and somehow your emotions run awya from us. On such occasions I tune out of those"emotions" and write! Believe me, it helps!

Anonymous said...

Some guys play the "hard to get close to me" role intentionally. I've heard guys say it draws women in closer because they're curious as to why the guy backed off. But on the flip side, some guys are truly shutting things down and if something is shut down, you better hope for a miracle. Otherwise, he'll look at you as being the "reason" why things are going wrong, even though his strange behavior was really the cause. And from there, he might actually go on to do the things you feared most.

~B said...

Hi All, Thanks so much for your thoughts. I very much appreciate it! What I hear from your comments is that I need to talk to him and figure things out. I know that you're right. I also know that he's not someone that forgets to call when he says he will, and everything that he does, he means to do. Meaning, the way that he's been acting, he's not playing the 'hard to get' role. Knowing all this, I feel like I know where we're heading....nowhere. But he is someone that I'm serious about, so does this mean I should keep pushing and be persistent? Or should I back off and let him figure things out and if we're meant to be, we'll be? At the same time, I don't want to look like I don't care either. Ugh...